Port-o-potty-Palooza 2017

Alex Lobo

Hey, where’s the toilet paper?

1. Music Festivals (aka A Questionable Port-a-potty Experience?)

We’re in the heat (hah) of festival season, folks! Whether you’re a first time Lollapalooza attendee, a Governor’s Ball veteran or a Great Exuma refugee, we’ve all had the same questioning concern at least once in our concert-going careers: what’ll the bathroom conditions be? Luckily, (most) festival planners are aware of the shituation and some have even offered upgraded treatments for your royal hineys *cue Austin City Limit’s Golden Throne* And some upstanding citizens have even taken the time to figure out how to mathematically choose the best toilet option wherever we end up. The Pee-thagoreum Theorem, amiright?! You get it. Some savvy individuals have even found ways to turn these untold amounts of festival-generated human waste into a novelty beer. We know you’ll all be missing your own personal booty washes at home, but let’s take a moment to be grateful for the presence and evolution of port-a-potties (although, we still suggest you bring some portable hand sanitizer along justtt in case!). At least it’s better than shitting in the ocean (or whatever really went down at Fyre Festival...the world may never know.)

*insert Pride React here*

2. Love is Love is Love is Love

...said some really smart guy one time. I think he was the president or something? That sentiment certainly rings true this month as the LGBTQ+ community and their allies celebrate Pride month. Events, parades and resist marches have been taking place in LA and DC. . This weekend NYC will be kicking off its Pride celebrations and this will be the very first Pride Parade where a bathroom is a bathroom is a bathroom is a bathroom. Last year, during Pride weekend, legislation was passed that made all single stall bathrooms in NYC gender neutral. The legislation went into effect Jan.1st of this year making the first Pride Parade to benefit. Poop where you want, love who you love, be who who you are!

Happy Father’s Bidet! (haha, get it??)

3. Dad’s Throne 

You forgot to get a father’s day gift didn’t you. Of course you did. But wait, before you start scrambling to the nearest Jos.A. Bank to find yet another tie with boats embroidered on it, (your dad is retired. Where is he wearing a tie?) let’s take a second to think about what dad might actually want and more importantly use. You know your dad. He’s the guy that taught you how to ride that dope Power Rangers bike. He took you to your first ...and most recent Hanson concert. He even moved you out of the apartment you still lived in with your ex 3 months after you broke up. Don’t you think Dad deserves something more thoughtful than a gift card to Chili’s? TUSHY is what he wants. Your Dad’s butt will thank you…. Now you’re thinking about your dad’s butt. Ha! Oh no, now I’m thinking about my dad’s butt! Ugh.

Dads notoriously take forever in the Poop Room, so we made a themed gift guide to make his “quiet time” the absolute shit ;).

Also, save 10% on Royale and Noir styles with the code “DADPOOPS” through Sunday! Gift cards are available too!