There's No Planet B

Alex Lobo

Paris Climate Agreement go bye bye.

1. Paris Climate Agreement

The environment is seeing more red or should I say smog-filled, brownish black, goopy flags. As we saw this week, despite being advised by multiple foreign leaders, businesses, and even his own daughter, President Trump has made the decision to pull out of the Paris Climate Agreement that was established in 2015 by 195 nations. Though Trump stated in his announcement that he is "someone who cares deeply about the environment,” (**cue A Cooper eyeroll**) his decisions reflect otherwise. Although, the United States won’t *officially* be able to leave the agreement until November 2020, this won’t stop the rollback of Obama-era climate policies and the cutting of funds to other organizations aimed at reducing environmental impact. This lengthy process risks setting the country back in its progressive and collective goal of reducing emissions as well as isolating the United States from global efforts to ease global warming. Rest assured however, that despite the actions of the President, Mayors and Governors around the country have joined together to say that they won’t give up their efforts for a greener, more sustainable future. Additionally, a few more unlikely heroes have risen from the metaphorical ashes of the Earth’s core, most notably and surprisingly China, who’s been pegged as the potential new leader in the fight against climate change, as well as the Pope. Maybe the joining of Church and State isn’t always so bad amirite?

  • How do I do(o) this?
  • 2. National Corn On The Cob Day

    Fire up your grills this weekends, because National Corn on the Cob Day is coming up this Sunday, June 11th! (Yay? Maybe?) Even though corn is a staple to any barbecue, there are parts of it that still remain a mystery to most. Like have you ever gone to the bathroom after a long day of digesting those lil’ kernels and wonder why they still come out looking whole in your poop? Well, relax! Your chewing is not the problem! The answer lies in the limits of the human digestive system. While we are able to digest the main, inside part of the corn kernel, humans lack the proper enzyme to digest the bran coat, or the outer layer of the corn, which is made of cellulose. After being consumed, these undigested hulls act as somewhat of a sack or sleeve and end up getting filled with whatever else you’ve digested (aka...poop!) thus giving off just the appearance of a untouched corn kernel in your number two. Another day, another corn myth debunked! (We care right? At least for Grandpa’s trivia day with his buds.) The good news, you can clean it alllll up, one un-popped corn at a time with a nice butt spray.

    Just a couple of old timers shitting on each other.

    2. National Best Friend's Day

    Today is National Best Friend’s Day (awwwwww)! Here’s just a little reminder to hold your BFF close and be thankful for having him or her (or any gender pronoun of your choosing) share in all of your embarrassing, fascinating, and even absolutely disgusting moments with them (like “Remember that time we had explosive diarrhea together in Mexico?”) That’s right, we’re talking ‘bout everything from fun shit to real shit like...shitting yourself…and maybe even the joys of the first times experiencing your own booty wash.