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The health of that orange fall fruit: Pumpkin.

Elliot Friar

If Mother Nature is not properly signaling our seasonal transition, the suddenly vibrant orange end-of-aisle displays at Trader Joe’s sure are. Fall has fallen, y’all, and our favorite orange fruit that isn’t named after it’s color is back to please. But, is pumpkin good for your bum, and how does it keep your poop-a-clunkin’? Let’s dispel all the pulp fiction about that mushy orange, those seeds, and everything in between.

Pumpkin by itself is super-pooper healthy. I would use the term “superfood” but it’s overused, misleading, and way too clickbait-y for this casual butt blog. Pumpkin seeds are an essential snuggly autumn snack -- but they’re also full of important dietary sh*t like magnesium, potassium, zinc, and protein (vegetarians rejoice).

While you may carve holes into your jack-o-lantern, pumpkin also carves a whole-lotta vitamins into your body. Punkins aside, pumpkin has *tons* of beta-carotene which turns into Vitamin A (an essential vitamin) for better eye, heart, and immune system health. Beta-carotene is also linked to slowing cognitive decline and slowing down the decline of lung power with aging. Good ol’ carotenoids in the iconic Halloween cucurbitaceae (the family of plants pumpkin belongs to) might also reduce your risk for cancer and keep your skin looking as fresh as a mini-pumpkin. Additionally, the fall fruit is a great source of fiber -- with one cup of canned pumpkin containing seven grams. Fiber is good for keeping your poops healthy much like a loathed apple in your trick-or-treat bag on All Hallow’s Eve. So keep eating that good fresh (or canned!) pumpkin for a good taste and good health.

But(t), and this is a big BUT(T), pumpkin is usually so diluted before it enters your body that the food or drinks (icu PSL) it is apart of are not so cute. The Pumpkin Spice Latte is overflowing with sugar (49 grams to be eeeeekxact) and is made with milk, which doesn’t settle well with the sixty-five percent of humans that are lactose intolerant. This amalgamation of ingredients plus the caffeine from espresso could mean trouble in your tummy, even if the PSL ~does~ have real pumpkin in it. One way to soften the blow to your stomach would be to ask for almond milk and no whipped cream. One PSL won’t really hurt though, and after writing this I am craving one so BRB.

Conclusion: Pumpkin is really yummy. And it’s healthy. Pumpkin products are really yummy. But not always the most healthy depending on what it is mixed with. Good talk. Happy fall!