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Badass of the Week: Michelle Obama

Elliot Friar

This world is full of badass humans doing cool and important sh*t. So, we'll be honoring some of those badass booties on The Posterior, our blog (woahhh we have a blog woahhh you're on it right now woahhhhhh). Here is our first inSTALLment.

 

Calling Michelle Obama the badass of the week is a bit of the understatement. After her speech at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia on Monday night, she is the badass of the month/year/century/millennium/universe/other-universes-if-the-multiverse-theory-is-correct etc etc.

Even if you don't agree with her politics, you were likely ugly crying and shoveling fistfuls of flamin' hot cheetos into your mouth seconds into her speech. The First Lady of the United States, or FLOTUS (I would normally make a "floater" pun here because we're a bidet company but... like... I am not disrespecting Her Holiness FLOTUS), spoke eloquently about raising her children.

MObama said both her and the President know the weight of their words and actions as a role model for their girls. Then, she analogized her parenting philosophy to throw not-so-subtle shade at GOP candidate and flamin' hot cheeto himself Donald Trump.

"We know that our words and actions matter, not just to our girls, but the children across this country."

As our cheeky website WhyTrumpIsShitty.com displays, Trump has said some pretty sh*tty things -- and instead of spreading that sh*t around, we have to clean it up (we know a little bit about cleaning sh*t up as a bidet company).

The First Lady effortlessly spoke with enough intelligence to make a thousand Slowpokes into Fulbright Scholars (Slowpokes are not-so-smart Pokemon -- our intern Annie has one on Pokemon Go and says it is very cute FYI).

In all seriousness, the First Lady choked up when delivering a powerful and equally empowering line that resonated throughout hundreds of years of our country's oppressive history.

"I wake up every morning in a house built by slaves, and I watch my daughters -- two beautiful and intelligent young black woman -- playing with their dogs on the White House lawn."

So important. So many tears.

And that's what makes Michelle Obama a complete badass.